Loss And Hope
by Golden Snowflake
Summary: Sometimes you think there's nothing left to fight for when the whole world is right in front of you.


I was in the mood to write something deep and reflective and stuff. So I did! Or... at least I tried... Anyhoo, here it is!

* * *

I tiptoed in, peering through the doorway. To my dismay I found him gazing out the window, silent and solemn, the way I've seen him many times before. Just as I began to pray that it wasn't as bad as last time, he sniffed and wiped a gloved hand across his face.

Aerrow was crying.

It takes a lot to make a sky knight cry. I'd know. Losing somebody is devastating… it's as if the whole world comes slowly to a halt and there's no way to make it move. The vivid hues of flowers and the brilliant colors of sunsets fade slowly to shades of gray and no longer is every day a new one. You only wake up to a poorer replay of the day before. Grief overwhelms you; numbing and stilling on the surface while stabbing and ripping underneath. Even as you wake up suddenly- some moment in which live and music flood back -you are never fully restored. The piece of your heart reserved for that person dies with them forever.

It's even worse when it's your parents.

Or like me- your whole squadron.

My dearest friends are gone forever, while the creature who spared them no mercy still lives, gloating and bragging and doing the same to uncountable others.

There's only one way to truly come back; one avenue of hope. And while it's the most preposterous, impossible, unnatural choice to make, it's simply the only one. It's forgiveness. It's something that can't be classified. It isn't an emotion, it isn't a mental state, it isn't a lifestyle and it isn't a slogan. It is what it is. It's your one chance to redeem yourself; the one way to force blood into those dead, icy spots in your heart. Like dormant gateways that thrust open, as soon as you forgive, you see things that were invisible before but existed all along. Happiness, hope, and love have been with you. And you remember that your family and friends aren't truly dead. Deceased, yes; but living on in another place. A better place. A location you can only stumble across once you've forgiven and accepted, once you've picked up those shredded memories and mementos and started to move on.

And Aerrow isn't there yet.

I gaze at him fondly, with a respect and understanding that none of his squadron has. I know what it's like to lose everything. And although I care about him, more than I'd ever dare to show, I envy him as well. While I lost all, had my past ripped down like a curtain, and don't dare look back for fear of being pulled into the blackness beneath, he didn't.

And he doesn't realize it.

Stork, Piper, Finn, Junko, and Radarr. We both lost our parents, but he didn't lose his squad. Every day they follow him without question, love him without question. They are orphans, just like him, but they understand that family isn't bound by blood. Family is a group that love each other unyieldingly. They do.

"You okay?" He raised his head slowly, ruby-colored hair falling in his eyes as he smiled weakly at me.

"I'll be fine."

Walking up, I rested a hand on his shoulder. I owe him everything. After forgiving, my doors of hope were unlocked, but he was the one to open them, beckoning excitedly from the other side.

"Don't cry, Aerrow."

"I miss them, Starling." In his eyes I saw a hollow emptiness that chilled me to the bone. They were my eyes once. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him against me.

"I know you do," I whispered in reply, stroking his hair as he gripped my shoulders and choked back a sob. "Listen to me. Are you, Aerrow?"

"I'm listening." He no longer sounded like a warrior. Only a frightened child. It's tragic that he must be both.

"You think you've lost everything worth fighting for, don't you?"

"I have," he rasped, shuddering against me.

"No you haven't." After a long moment, he grew still, only breathing shakily. "Look over there."

As I pointed at the door, a head of blonde hair ducked back behind it. It finally emerged once more, Finn followed by Junko, Junko followed by Piper, Piper followed by Stork. Radarr scampered up to us and I pulled back. The blue creature scrambled onto the young knight's shoulders, nuzzling him fervently in attempt to comfort him. He wiped his nose again as they grouped together, watching with worry in their wide eyes. I struggled to keep my own voice from breaking as I held a hand out toward them.

"You have a family right here."

* * *

TA-DA! Hope you liked it!


End file.
